he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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