I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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