ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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