Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
