Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
