some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
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