my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
