I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
