Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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