I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
