I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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