I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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