He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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