omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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