So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
