Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
