Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
