At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
