Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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