I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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