I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
