I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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