Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
