no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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