Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
