He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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