So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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