If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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