I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize