Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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