I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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