It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
