i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
