So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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