there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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