it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize