You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
