I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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