I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
