Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just want nice things and good sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
