his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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