I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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