he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
