I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
my liver is dry heaving
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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