I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
