She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize