This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
