my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
