for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
