Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
