where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
