What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
