Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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