my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
