So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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