i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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