Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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