But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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