Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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