Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize