Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
