we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
