problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
