Soap is not a condiment
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
