You just made me feel so damn special
I want to make a zoo with you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
