i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone signed my nipple.
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