Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
