BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
