when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
