they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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