he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
