What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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